Who Pays For The Wedding?
There’s nothing quite like the effortless glamour, the captivating charm, and the dreamy romance of a well-thought-out wedding. Yet when you lift the magician’s curtain and look behind the scenes of the big day, you’ll find a lot of hard work, meticulous planning, and considerable financial cost has gone into an occasion that celebrates the timeless union between two people.
If you’re considering making plans for your own or someone else’s big day and aren’t sure who pays for the wedding, read our essential guide that covers who pays for what in a wedding.
On our slow walk down the aisle towards the altar, we’ll answer such questions as who traditionally pays for the wedding. What does the groom’s family pay for? What do the groom’s parents pay for? Who pays for the wedding bands, and who pays for the wedding dress?
Before you say “I do” without a second thought, let’s take a deep dive into the financial entanglements involved in the big day!
Who traditionally pays for the wedding?
It’s often said that the past is a foreign country and they do things differently. When it comes to weddings, things used to be a lot different! For example, the tradition of the father of the bride covering all the financial costs of a wedding has its origins in the ancient custom of the bride’s family gifting the groom a dowry. The dowry was a financial thank-you from the father to the groom for taking on his daughter, also known as the “burden of a bride.”
Thankfully we now view and do things a little differently. We regard weddings as more an equal commitment and declaration of love between two people as opposed to the groom taking the bride off the father’s hands for a small fee.
Having said that, the more things change, the more they stay the same. When it comes to the question of who pays for the wedding, the parents of the bride traditionally still often bear the brunt. Everything — from the engagement party, ceremony, and the venue for the reception to the photographer, the photo booth rental, the invitations, the dress and flowers — is often still paid for by the bride’s family.
What does the groom’s family pay for?
Although they don’t have as hard a time of it financially as the bride’s family, the groom’s family still traditionally have to dig deep when it comes to their offspring’s wedding day. If you’ve ever wondered who pays for the wedding bands — that’s the groom’s family's responsibility, as is footing the drinks bill at the reception, the rehearsal dinner costs, the marriage license, the officiant fee, and of course, the honeymoon expenses.
Do the bride and groom get away without paying a bean?
Traditionally, it's not just the parents of the happy couple who have to shell out money for their children’s big day. When it comes to who pays for what in a wedding, the groom usually pays for the bride’s engagement and wedding rings. Traditionally, they also pay for the wedding attire and wedding party gifts and are responsible for the groomsmen’s accommodation and party.
Meanwhile, the bride is responsible for the groom’s wedding ring, wedding party gifts, and the bridesmaids’ accommodation and party.
Sharing the costs is often the perfect solution
Like everything else in life, the cost of a wedding is not getting any cheaper and it’s becoming harder and harder for people to live up to tradition and pay what has normally been asked of them. As such, when having conversations about who pays for what in a wedding, many couples are finding it’s a lot easier and fairer to talk to both sets of parents about costs upfront.
If you can afford to pay for everything yourself, that’s great! However, most of us need a helping hand or two to make sure our big day goes with a bang. If that’s the case, don’t assume other family members should or even would be in a position to help. Don’t expect them to help out — instead, ask diplomatically if they would like to contribute anything to your wedding.
If you find they’re more than happy to help, don’t be shy about asking what they can realistically contribute, and what they are willing and unwilling to pay for. Financial planning is integral to ensuring your wedding day goes without a hitch and runs as seamlessly as a dream. So good communication is essential.
Don’t let family members take over the running of your wedding day!
Arguments about who pays for the wedding and who pays for what in a wedding are commonplace, but they needn’t be. Family members who feel they’ve contributed more than others often fall into the trap of feeling they have a right to dictate the theme and direction of the big day.
If you feel this is happening, remind them diplomatically that although you are extremely grateful for all their help, it’s your special day and not theirs. If you feel this is going to be an insurmountable issue, it may be best to reduce the scale of your wedding and consider if you can manage the cost of the wedding yourself.
Always remember why you are having a wedding day
A wedding day is a day like no other. There is a magic and wonder to it that will, if you’re lucky, last you a lifetime. However, the planning, preparation, and financial expenses involved — and of course, the overriding question of who pays for the wedding — can be a source of great stress. If you’re not careful, it can overshadow your big day and lead to poor relations with family members.
The devil is in the details, and it’s always important that you have a budget that you can afford for your wedding day. Ensure you communicate with all parties involved every step of the way to find an arrangement where everyone is comfortable and knows exactly who is paying for what at the wedding.
A wedding is a sacred union between two people, but it is also a coming together of two families. It is a wonderful and shared experience, and more and more people are finding that sharing the costs across the families is key to a memorable and harmonious wedding day.